How to Overcome Public Speaking with NLP

If you were to be asked right now what your greatest fear is, what would it be? It would not come as a surprise if the fear of public speaking is the first thing that comes to your mind. Just the mere thought of speaking in front of a group or, even more daunting, a huge crowd of people peering their eyes directly at you is just enough to squeeze out all your sweat and send shivers because of sheer nervousness.

Jerry Seinfeld has even joked about it saying that, “I read a thing that actually says that speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. I found that amazing – number two was death! That means to the average person if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.” Well, Seinfeld could not be more right here because, if you ask any person, speaking in front of people is a nerve-wracking experience that no one would even dare voluntarily do.

Why do you fear public speaking?

Public speaking is an anxiety-driven experience and usually comes with a slew of other concerns and worries. What if your mind goes totally blank? Are you saying the right words to get your message across? Why are your audiences looking at you – are they just staring at you blanking or are they secretly laughing at you in their minds? And do they trust what you are saying is true? This flow of a whole new set of fears is definitely enough to send you at the pits of dreading to ever speaking in public. Most often than not, when people are presented with an opportunity to shine by speaking infront of people, they make up excuses.

The social fear of speaking in public all boils down to the lack of confidence in one’s self. It breeds doubt and inculcates the thinking that you cannot do what you can actually do. You also stop the cycle of learning, which is essential in your quest for self-development and change. Once this happens, the road to personal excellence is impeded.

If only most people would know how empowering public speaking can be, there is no reason at all to avert any opportunity that comes along your way from social interaction and presentation.

In a Forbes article, they presented that while speaking infront of a crowd can make you feel vulnerable, it actually elicits trust from the people you are addressing to. Since public speaking is a great fear considered by many, you are revered as a leader and an expert in your field because you have stepped up and overcame what they think they cannot do on their own. And because fears are essentially challenges, conquering this supposed limitation is empowering in itself and will give you that needed boost.

But how do you actually overcome the fear of public speaking?

Reframing – Changing Your Focus

One of the reasons that get you scared at presenting in a crowd is that you are caught up in a perceived bubble filled with expected failures. Focusing on the negative outcomes will ultimately point you nowhere. This is where an NLP technique called Reframing comes in handy when you are bent on overcoming your fear of public speaking.

It essentially provides you with the instinctive tools to divert your view and point you towards a more positive path. More often than not, those who fear speaking in a crowd puts so much focus on the perceived responses of their audience rather than putting emphasis on their selves. Instead of worrying about what others will think of you, why not ask the questions on how you can make your presentation better or how you can come out triumphant given the social setting.

Just take a look at motivational speaker Nick Vujicic. His physical limitations would have probably been considered by many as a stumbling block to be able to speak infront of a huge audience. But just look at him, he has used this challenge as a motivation not to give up and always staying determined in achieving success and excellence. He has even used his disability in delivery some of the funniest comments in his speeches.

Anchoring - Pull the Trigger

One of the most common NLP techniques to help you overcome in speaking for an audience is Anchoring. What it does is put you at a more relaxed and confident state. The mind is an endless bank of memories that have an impact on how you deal with present situations. More often than not, a fear is connected with a past experience that resulted into a negative outcome.

What anchoring does is that it provides you with the necessary to tool to pick out significant moments in your life that are more positive, productive and have provided you with emotions that supercharged your confidence. It helps you to look back into those situations and use those powerful emotions.

The most common anchoring exercise involves you choosing a moment in your life where you felt the most confident – it could be the time you aced an exam or simple moments like the time you impressed your loved ones with your cooking. Relive these moments in your mind with as much detail as possible. Once you have reached that heightened emotion, “anchor” it with a gesture. You can anchor it by touching your ear lobe or pressing your thumb to your pointer finger. This allows you to instantly access and trigger these emotions using the “anchor.” So whenever your nerves are getting the best of you, pull out your trigger to help you feel more confident.

Modeling - Learning from Others

An idea that is taught in NLP is that if you cannot do it by yourself, have somebody else do it for you. But before you ask someone to do the speaking for you, let us put this thought in a better perspective.

A premise that is often used in NLP is that a negative thought or behavioral pattern can easily be replaced with a new and positive one. Also, successful people have patterns in the way they think, act and process how they do and respond to situations. And an individual has all the resources to learn and relearn new thought and behavioral patterns. Putting these three premises together means that by selecting a success model – whether it be a famous motivational speaker, your sales mentor or even your high school teacher, and understanding how they present themselves when speaking with an audience, you can also take and learn how they are able to confidently present in a crowd. This is the very essence in an NLP technique called Modeling.

You will be able to instinctively learn how your success model speaks, the words that he uses and the manner in which he presents himself through his body language. Just imagine being able to stand on a stage and confidently deliver a speech, like famous motivational speakers Tony Robbins and Suze Orman.

The fear of public speaking is a stumbling block to excellence that can easily fall under the radar. You might not think of it as something that you should get “fixed”, but once you overcome this fear, you propel yourself to greater heights that you have never thought you could achieve. It breeds confidence within yourself and builds trust and credibility from among people you speak to.

If you want to overcome public speaking and become more confident, you can join us in Jacky Lim's NLP Sharing Session. We will give you a preview of the many NLP tools and techniques that will help you with being self-assured and poised when speaking with an audience – whether one-on-one or a huge crowd. Fill-out our inquiry form right now to book the seat reserved just for you!