Conflict or stress at work tends to create struggles that you need to face on a daily basis. Interpersonal relationships can be the most complicated and difficult to solve and unlike friends or family, you just do not have the luxury to get away from them. Now to add more spice into the brew, people or colleagues as we call them, are not aware of the art of persuasion. This knowledge can let you successfully deal with the issues while keeping your and even building your personal relationships at work and your career. Below are some work scenarios that would illustrate how Neuro-Linguistic Programming could actually save the day or two at work.
Lack of Personal Space
This colleague is the kind who does not care how loud or unruly he is and would usually discuss in great detail the important issues about him and the meetings he's had, down to his private moments outside of the office. He does not stop there and unabashedly just reads your computer screen and does not need an invitation to join a conversation at any point in time.
NLP Solution
This is a classic case of not fighting fire with fire. While your officemate is red-hot irritating, you need to be the ice queen with the cold streak that is enough to freeze your officemate in his tracks. For you to be able to convince this officemate to let go of his annoying work habits, you really have to show how cool you really are. The opposite approach, you relinquish your control of the situation.
So do not forget to take a deep breath and remind yourself to keep the snarky remarks at bay. Another important ingredient to this approach is the tone of your voice. It should be devoid of any hint of accusation and should sound friendly at all times.
The message you would like to send should start by showing your appreciation of his company, then proceed to a genuine feeling that you get when he annoys you and ending with mentioning specific reasons on when you feel them. Because you started by saying how much you like him and cleverly used “I” to describe the stress what you feel, you put him in a situation where the only thing he can do is listen and absorb everything you have to say. Cap the conversation by expressing how bad you would feel if it happens all over again.
Taking on the Destroyer
People are entitled to their opinions, but some have taken this to heart and have empowered themselves to tear down anything that catches their attention in the wrong way. They are not the best people to work with because they certainly have a conflicting perspective with yours and are just relentless with the unnecessary comments that destroy, rather than build relationships.
NLP Solution
For this situation, respecting different beliefs would really come in very handy. The first step is to get his attention by starting with a nice complement. Then go on to show concern by appearing to volunteer to help him have a better work environment by pointing out his strengths first, then pointing out what he does wrong. Do not forget to comfort him by saying that there are situations that warrant his behavior. And for the kill, tell him that you would appreciate it if he coupled his rants with effective solutions. You then harp on how important trust is in the workplace and how it affects the company in general by saying how they can actually be influenced by people they can absolutely trust.
Credit Grabbing Boss
It started out as casual credit grabbing, but then you realize that your boss is out there to bask in the glory of your genius and would use every opportunity to steal your ideas and achievements and play them up as his own. Such a boss certainly takes away the joy in doing your job.
NLP Solution
Nothing is bigger than the ego of this kind of boss so you get his attention by stroking his ego in a mild and friendly manner. You do not want your boss to go against you and put additional stress to the already stressful situation. Say how you enjoy working with him and mentioning how you hope it is mutual and that you hope your contributions are important to the team. When he agrees to your situation, bring up that fact your happy to know that he has presented your best ideas to others. Cap by asking if you get the credit you deserve for your participation in the creation of your idea. Because there was no accusatory tone, the boss would hopefully be open to future discussions about your subtle grievance.
A Well-Deserved Raise
Your hard work deserves a raise, even if the company is not in the best position to give it to you. As insensitive as it sounds, you also need to and would like to discuss with your boss your desire to have it.
NLP Solution
You have to set the proper framework in this situation. Build the situation to make it appear that the raise you are asking for is actually beneficial for everyone concerned. You would like your manager to feel that he is your ally and with that mindset, he would most probably be one.
As soon as you get an audience with your boss, the best way to start is by mentioning how aware you are of the current situation of the company. This would make him feel that your motives are grounded and not just an egotistic whim. Next step is to make him feel that you would like to collaborate on how you can justify a raise. This should be followed by a very detailed list of your achievements and strategically skewing them with the successes of the company as well. Be as detailed as possible with this part as much as you can because it should show how much the company has benefited from your great performance and that your contributions to the company are undeniably enough for you to get the raise that you truly deserve.
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